An emotional few days.

It was quite an emotional first few days at home.  Having babies does crazy things to my hormones, and sleep deprivation doesn't help it any! On top of all of that, I had a little health scare.  About a month ago, I noticed a pea size lump under my right arm pit.  I thought it was odd, and felt it several times a day for weeks, but there was never any change to it.  I had intentions of asking my OBGYN about it at one of my pregnancy check ups, but we always got busy talking about baby stuff that I kept forgetting.  My mind was so busy trying to make sure I had things ready for the new baby.  Saturday afternoon, the 13th, I felt in my arm pit for the first time in several days, maybe even a week, and noticed the lump was now the size of a dime-nickle, and you could even see the lump just by looking at my arm pit.  I started to really worry.

On Sunday morning, after googling 'lump in armpit', I headed to Acute Care bawling.  It was my 33rd birthday, and all that was going through my mind was 'It's going to be Breast Cancer.  I am going to find out I have cancer just days after having a baby.  Derek is going to be left alone with 3 little boys..'  My mind went crazy.  I didn't learn much at Acute Care.  The doctor thought it was just a lymph node that was swollen, but he couldn't be positive.  The lump didn't hurt, and wasn't red, so there were no signs of an infection anywhere.  He told me to call my OBGYN right away Monday morning, and just follow up in 7-14 days.  Being told I had to wait a week or two stressed me out even more.  I wanted to know NOW what was wrong with me.  I called my doctor right away on Monday morning, and they squeezed me into the schedule on Tuesday morning.  Another day and night of waiting.  

Monday night I tried going to bed early.  I think I dozed off for 30 minutes, when I woke up in a sweat, crying about this stupid lump.  I walked out to the living room and just sobbed next to Derek on the couch.  I am sure he thought his wife had lost it, as I had cried off and on so much that day.  Boston even asked Derek why I was crying, and all I could say was 'Sometimes when mom's have babies, they cry a lot for no reason'.  That answer seemed to work for him.  

On Tuesday morning, I saw Dr. Scott.  She looked over the lump, and did a breast exam.  She didn't feel anything else abnormal, but could definitely feel and see the lump under my arm pit.  She told me to try not to worry so much.  9 times out of 10, lumps like this are just a lymph node that has swollen from hormones, or an infection but that there was always that chance it was something more.  She said she would order an ultrasound for me at the Avera Breast Center.  If there was anything abnormal with the scan, she was going to have them do a needle biopsy right away.  I am SO thankful that she put a rush on the referral.  Even just waiting another day for the ultrasound weighed so heavily on my mind.  Another day and night of waiting.

Wednesday morning, Derek and I and Bronx checked into the Avera Breast Center for my ultrasound. The tech took images for about 10 minutes, and then we waited for someone else to come in and give us results.  Thankfully the wait was short and our prayers were answered!  The ultrasound didn't show anything abnormal!  The tissue all looked normal, and the lump just looks to be a lymph node.  They think it will end up going down on it's own, but I am to continue watching it closely.  If there is any growth or change to the area, I have to let my doctor know right away.  I feel 100% better emotionally and physically.  I felt like this crazy lump came at such a horrible time because my first few days at home with Bronx, my mind was so consumed by it that I felt like I wasn't focusing my attention to my newborn baby.  I would sit in a daze while I held him and my mind would play out every possible scenario, most not very positive. 

It was such a blessing to receive such great news.  It seems like there are so many people that I know right now struggling with cancer of a loved one, and it just really hit home for me this week how quickly life could change.

Jason & Shana & Tim & Chels took Boston & Brigham to the spray park while I had my appointment, so we met up with all of them afterwards!  The kids had so much fun.  Tim is such a good sport and played with the kids while the rest of the moms and dads watched :)

 Bronx was such a good boy in the stroller.  

It was a super hot day so we kept the little ones in the shade!