Marriage. The second time around.

I often get asked how married life is the second time around.  It's not every day that you hear of someone marrying the same person twice, so people are just curious.  Most think it's weird. Some think we are crazy.  I've heard 'It didn't work the first time, why would it work the second time?'  It used to hurt to hear those things, but now I realize people are just very intrigued by our situation.

Honestly, our second marriage is a lot like the first, but it's different in many ways too.  It's far from perfect and I don't want anyone to think that it's fairy tale-ish because we've 'been there, done that'.  We still fight about really dumb stuff, disagree on numerous things, and get annoyed with one another... quite a bit.  I've cried about things that I wish were different or 'better' at times and I have even wondered a time or two if this second marriage would survive.  Not that anything has ever been that bad, I think it's just a fear I will always have because our first marriage crumbled so quickly.  It was just so easy to say 'I'm done.'  Our marriage is still a lot of work and I realize that it always will take effort.  Don't let anyone fool you that it's easy.

For those of you that don't know this, it took a really unfortunate event to bring Derek and I back together.  Something was definitely stirring in our hearts prior, but his dad passing away so suddenly hurried things along and quickly made us realize what was important in life. Jesus.  And family.

Neither of us were living a Christ like life during our divorce, or leading up to our divorce.  It's a total shame to look back on now, but it's behind us.  We've forgiven ourselves, and each other, but more importantly, so has He.   The thing that's different this time around is that we are quicker to forgive, and quicker to let. it. go.  The arguments that we thought were the end of the world before, really aren't all that big of a deal anymore.  We realize we aren't the only couple that argues about money, time management, priorities, or how to parent our kids.  It was so easy that first time around to get into a huge fight and completely ignore the other person for days and weeks at a time.  It's not like that anymore.

The spark between Derek and I was gone.  Far gone.  There was so much anger and hurt inside of us, and neither of us really fought too hard towards the end.  There was a time I couldn't even look at him.  I was determined that nothing, absolutely nothing, would ever stir the fire again, but something did.  He did!

Derek loves me a lot like Jesus does.  He loves me on my good days and bad days, is always forgiving and is always there when I need him.  I feel like the luckiest girl in the world!  I want to share these words from a blog I follow.  Their marriage has seen better days too, but they have a love for Jesus like we do and it's inspiring.

God is bigger than your biggest mess and your impossible dreams and your heartache and your pain.  Your broken marriage and your severed relationships.  He's bigger than your depression and He's bigger than your troubled background.  He's bigger than that hidden sin in your heart and your secret relationships.  He's bigger than your breakup and He's bigger than your abuser.  He is bigger than your perspective and your unbelief.

Our God is called Redeemer for a reason.  
let me say that one more time..

Our God is called Redeemer for a reason.  

The hope of this God is free to everyone who believes.
Believe that there is hope in your situation because God says there is. 
He is enough for you.



Happy 4th (+ a few more years) Anniversary Derek!  I pray there are many more!